|The circus got to a little town in county Down, Ireland, early one sunday and began to set up.
One of the clowns, who also did acrobatic acts, being a god-fearing Catholic, went off to the little church for early confession, but found the priest still having breakfast and not yet in his robes.
"Will ye be hearin' me confession, now, father?" the acrobat asks.
"Why, sure, my son, I'll be doing that right away, but I haven't seen you here before. You be just passin' through, like?"
"Oh, no, father," replies the man, "I'm all with the circus now. It's come to entertain the folks, like. It's settin up now on the green. You need to come, father, it's right excitin. I'll get ye a ticket, that I will.'
"Oh son, I could not be goin to the circus, now, not that I've ever been, mind, but It would na be right for me to go. But, I'll tell ye, I'm interested in what thely'll be seein. What, say, do you do in the circus?"
"Me, Father? Why I'm doing the bit of acrobatics, now, that I am."
"Acrobatics? I've never seen that now - what do you have to do. Jump about a bit, somethin loike that?"
" Oh,father, more loike sumersaults, loops, catherine wheels, that sort o thing, you know.
"No, I never seen anythin loike that. It does sound excitin. Perhaps you could show me? Give me a demonstration, would be grand, that would."
"Well, father, not here now. I'd need a bt more room loike. I could do a couple a tumbles down the aisle, I suppose, if that would be right wi' you?"
"Sure, an there's no one here this early ever. Come on, show me!"
So they went out into the church and the acrobat proceeded to do some hand stands, tumbles, and wheels down the aisle. The priest was entranced and demanded an encore - but unknown to him to of the old ladies from the village had got to mass early and were wathcing
this from the shadows to one side. They were astounded, holding their breath in amazement, but one finally leant over to the other and said "Well, dear, if them's the pennance the father's handin' out this morning, I'm goin to go home an put on me knickers."
Submitted by Lindsey, Melbourne, Australia
As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
- A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
- If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.
- A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom.
- Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.
- Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
- Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
- A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her
friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.
- Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know.
- A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.
- Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterparts.
- Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
Submitted by Bill, Narberth, PA.