Humor Additions for September 29th 2004


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How To Clean Your Toilet - The Fun Way
  1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
  2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
  3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.
  4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
  5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".
  6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
  7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
  8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
  9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,  The Dog

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An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish building ...

... when a young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume.

Noticing the old woman sniffing the perfume, she turns to her and says arrogantly, "Romance" by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!"

Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, "Channel No. 5, $200 an ounce."

About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, farts loudly, then says, "Broccoli...... 49 cents a pound."

Submitted by Debbie, Middletown, Md.
 

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The new bred of Navy Seals ... better equipped, better swimmers, and cheaper to feed ...


Sept 27th Humor Page