Humor Additions for November 19th 2004

    My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List

New jokes posted on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Happily maintained  by the Community of Emmitsburg, MD.

Help us build our joke and story bank.
E-mail us at:

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift ...

The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. In desperation, John threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

Submitted by Pat, Smith Lake, Va.

Return to: Top of Page, Seasonal Joke List, My Little Sister's Jokes,

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day ...

... by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.

As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home.

[]Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!

He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"

"Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son of a bitch on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"

Submitted by Kate, Columbia, Md.

Return to: Top of Page, List of Jokes about Animals, My Little Sister's Jokes,

Humorous signs seen around the world:
  • Cocktail lounge, Norway: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
  • At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any Suitable food, give it to the guard on duty
  • Doctors office, Rome: Specialist in women and other diseases.
  • Hotel, Acapulco: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
  • In a Nairobi restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.
  • On an Athi river highway: Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.
  • On a poster at Kencom: Are you an adult that cannot read? If so, we can help.
  • A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer: Do not activate with wet hands.
  • In a Pumwani maternity ward: No children allowed.
  • In a cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.
  • Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviors in bed.
  • Hotel elevator, Paris: Please leave your values at the front desk.
  • Hotel, Yugoslavia: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
  • Hotel, Japan: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
  • An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
  • A laundry in Rome: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the
  • Afternoon having a good time
  • Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia: Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.
  • Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
  • Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Submitted by Marianne, Columbia, Md.

Nov 17th Humor Page