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These people run our
country!
- I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask
for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by
being near the window.
- I got a call from a candidate's
staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the
length of the flight and the passport information, then she
interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid,
but Capetown is in Massachusetts."
Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly
explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in
Africa." Her response: (click)
- A senior Vermont Congressman called,
furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong
with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an
ocean-view room.
I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the
middle of the state.
He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida
is a very thin state!"
- An aide for a Bush cabinet member once
called and asked if he could rent A car in Dallas.
When I pulled up the reservation, I
noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas.
When I asked him why he wanted to rent a
car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will
need a car to drive between the gates to save time."
- An Illinois Congresswoman called last
week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight
from Detroit left at 8:20 a.m. and got into Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois,
but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally,
I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
- A New York lawmaker called and asked,
"Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they
know whose luggage belongs to whom?"
I said, "No, why do you ask?"
She replied, "Well, when I checked in
with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT),
and I'm overweight.
I think that is very rude?"
After putting her on hold for a minute
while I 'looked into it' (I was actually laughing) I came back
and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is "FAT", and that
the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
- A Senator's aide called to inquire
about a trip package to Hawaii.
After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be
cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"
- I just got off the phone with a
freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to
get on?"
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was
told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have
numbers on them."
- A lady Senator called and said, "I need
to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL.
Do I have to get on one of those little
computer planes?"
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola,
FL on a commuter plane.
She said, "Yeah, whatever!"
- A senior Senator called and had a
question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China.
After a lengthy discussion about
passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa.
"Oh, no I don't.
I've been to China many times and never
had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his
stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've
been to China four times and every time they have accepted my
American Express!"
- A New Mexico Congresswoman called to
make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New
York."
The agent was at a loss for words.
Finally, the agent said, "Are you sure
that's the name of the town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied
the lady.
After some searching, the agent came
back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code
in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere."
The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly!
Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!" The agent scoured a map
of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean
Buffalo, do you?"
"That's it! I knew it was a big animal,"
she said.
Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg, Pa
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Stories, My Little
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Food for Thought:
Leadership
- "Real leaders are ordinary people with
extraordinary determination."
- "Keep away from people who try to
belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the
really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
Mark Twain
- "If you are thinking one year ahead,
sow seed… If you are thinking ten years ahead, plant a tree… If
you are thinking one hundred years ahead, educate the people."
Chinese proverb
- "Nothing great was ever achieved
without enthusiasm" Ralph Waldo Emerson
- ""You can't stuff a great life into a
small dream." H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
- "Excellence is to do a common thing in
an uncommon way." Booker T. Washington
- "The road to success is filled with
many tempting parking places."
- "How wonderful it is that nobody need
wait a single moment before starting to improve the world." Anne
Frank
- "Everyone can be great because everyone
can serve…you only need a heart full of grace… a soul generated
by love." Martin Luther King, Jr.
- "Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I
remember. Involve me and I learn."
Submitted by Jess and Kim
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I knew there a book ...
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Nov
15th Humor Page
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