Humor Additions for May 10th, 2004


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How the Jews got the ten Commandments

God went to the Arabs and said:
"I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better."
And the Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"
And the Lord said: "They are rules for living."
"Can you give us an example?" "Thou shalt not kill."
"Not kill? We're not interested."

So he went to the Blacks and said:
"I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.
"And the Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said":
"Honor thy Father and Mother."
"Father? We don't know who our fathers are."

So He went to the Mexicans and said:
"I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.
"And the Mexicans wanted an example, and the Lord said:
"Thou shalt not steal."
"Not steal? We're not interested."

He went to the French and said:
"I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.
"The French wanted an example and the Lord said:
"Thou shalt not commit adultery."
"Not commit adultery? We're not interested.

He went to the Jews and said:
"I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better."
"Commandments?" they said, "How much are they?"
"They're free." "We'll take 10."

Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, MD.
 

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A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother.

On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"

"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"

"The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man."

Submitted by Bill, Narberth, Pa.
 

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Interesting word/phrase origins - Take 6

Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what was considered important to the people.

Since there were no telephones, TV's or radios, the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs, and bars who were told to "go sip some ale" and listen to people's conversations and political concerns.

Many assistants were dispatched at different times. "You go sip here" and "You go sip there". The two words "go sip" were eventually combined when referring to the local opinion, and thus we have the term "gossip".

Submitted by Dolly, Myersville, MD.
 

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Life in America Take 5


May 7th Humor Page