You Might Be From A Small Town
- You can name everyone you
- You know what 4-H is.
- You ever went to parties at a
pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road
- You used to drag
- You said the 'f' word and your
parents knew within the hour.
- You schedule parties around
the schedule of different police officers, since you know
which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't-same with
the game warden.
- You ever went cow-tipping or
- School gets canceled for state
- You could never buy cigarettes
because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and if you
were old enough they'd tell your parents anyhow).
- When you did find someone old
enough and brave enough to buy cigarettes, you still had to go
out to the country and drive on back roads to smoke them.
- You were ever in the
- You have ever gone home for
- It was cool to date someone
from the neighboring town.
- You had senior skip day.
- The whole school went to the
same party after graduation.
- You don't give directions by
street names or directions by references.
- The cc golf course had
only 9 holes.
- You can't help but date a
- Your car stays filthy because
of the dirt roads, and you will never own a dark vehicle for
- You think kids that ride
skateboards are weird.
- The town next to you is
considered "trashy" or "snooty", but is
actually just like your town.
- Getting paid minimum wage is
considered a raise.
- You refer to anyone with a
house newer than 1980 as the "rich people".
- The people in the city dress
funny, then you pick-up on the trend two years later.
- You bragged to your friends
because you got pipes on your truck for your birthday.
- Anyone you want can be found
at either the Dairy Queen or the feed store.
- You see at least one friend a
week driving a tractor through town.
- Football coaches suggest that
you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.
- Directions are given using
"the" stop light as a reference.
- The city council meets at the
- Your letter jacket was worn
after your 19th birthday.
- You have ever taken a trailer
or dog to school on a daily basis.
- Weekend excitement involves a
trip to a Wal-Mart.
- Even the ugly people enter
- You decide to walk somewhere
for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask if you need a
- Your teachers call you by your
older siblings names.
- Your teachers remember when
they taught your parents.
- You can charge at all the
- The closest McDonald's is 45
- So is the closest mall.
- It is normal to see an old man
riding through town on a riding lawn mower.
- You laugh out loud reading
this because you know they're all true and forward it to
everyone who lives in your town! (because you know them all!)
of Emmitsburg, Maryland
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List of You Know You're From,
Little Sister's Jokes,
Asked of Librarians Dept:|
- "Do you have a list of all the
books written in the English language?"
- "I'm looking for Robert James
Waller's book, 'Waltzing through Grand Rapids.'" (Actual
title wanted: "Slow Waltz in Cedar Bend.")
- "Where is the reference desk?"
This was asked of a person sitting at a desk who had,
hanging above her head, a sign saying "REFERENCE DESK"!
- "Can you tell me why so many
famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park
- "Do you have any books with
photographs of dinosaurs?"
Submitted by Don, Hagerstown, Md.
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of Humorous Sayings, My Little
The next time you feel like GOD
can't use you, just remember...
- Noah was a drunk Abraham
was too old
- Isaac was a daydreamer
- Jacob was a liar Leah was
- Joseph was abused
- Moses had a stuttering
- Gideon was afraid
- Sampson had long hair and
was a womanizer
- Rahab was a prostitute
- Jeremiah and Timothy were
- David had an affair and
was a murderer
- Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
- Jonah ran from God
- Naomi was a widow
- Job went bankrupt
- John the Baptist ate bugs
- Peter denied Christ
- The Disciples fell asleep
- Martha worried about
- The Samaritan woman was
divorced, more than once
- Zaccheus was too small
- Paul was too religious
- Timothy had an ulcer
- AND Lazarus was dead!
Submitted by Cindy,
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Jokes, My Little
Irish Cat ...
26th Humor Page