Humor Selections for March 10th, 2004

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A noted biologist, who had been studying little green frogs in a swamp, was stumped.
The frog population, despite efforts at predator control, was declining at an alarming rate. A chemist at a nearby college came up with a solution: The frogs, due to a chemical change in the swamp water, simply couldn't stay coupled long enough to reproduce successfully.
The chemist then brewed up a new adhesive to assist the frogs' togetherness, which included one part sodium.
It seems the little green frogs needed some monosodium glue to mate.

Submitted by Debbie, Middletown, MD.


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Who says the Muslims aren't funny?

Here are some jokes from that crazy Muslim standup comic..... ladies and gentlemen please give it up for.... Goffaq Yussef!

  • Good evening gentlemen, and get out, ladies. You have no right to be having a good time.
  • On my flight to New York there must have been a Jew in the bathroom the entire time. There was a sign on the door that said "occupied."
  • What do you say to a Muslim woman with two black eyes? Nothing! You told her twice already!
  • How many Muslims does it take to change a light bulb. None! They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it!
  • Did you hear about the Broadway play, 'The Palestinians'? It bombed!
  • What do you call a first-time offender in Saudi Arabia? Lefty!
  • Did you hear about the Muslim strip club? It features full facial nudity!
  • Why do Palestinians find it convenient to live on the West Bank? Because it's just a stone's throw from Israel!
  • Why are Palestinian boys luckier than American boys? Because every Palestinian boy will get to join a rock group
  • A small plane carrying Yassir Arafat and all his top lieutenants crashes and all aboard are killed. Who is saved? The Palestinian people!
  • Two Israelis are in an elevator when the doors open and a Palestinian gets on. After the doors close, the Palestinian lets out a huge, noisy fart. The doors open again and the Palestinian gets off. One Jew looks at the other, wipes his brow and says, "Thank God! Must have been a dud!"
  • What does the sign say above the nursery in a Palestinian maternity ward? "Live ammunition."
  • A Palestinian girl says to her mommy, "After Abdul blows up, can I have his room?"

Submitted by Don, Hagerstown, Md.

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A guy goes to see his doctor to get his test results.

"Well Mr. Jones, I have some good news & some bad news for you. The good news is that you have only 24hrs to live.

"That's good news?" wails Jones, "What the bad news?"

The Doctor gives a sheepish grin and says, "I should have told you yesterday!!!"

Submitted by Linn, Hagerstown, Md.

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A woman went to a computer dating service and said she didn't care about looks ...

... income or background.  All she wanted was a man of upright character.

Then a man came in and told them the only thing he was seeking in a woman was intelligence.

The service matched them together at once because they had one thing in common - they were both pathological liars.

Submitted by Dave, Bolder, Co.

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