boy had just gotten his driving permit.
He asked his father, who was a
minister, if they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said to him, "I'll
make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a
little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it."
A month later the boy came back
and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the
His father said, "Son, I'm real
proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your
Bible diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!"
The young man waited a moment and
replied, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that. I've read
in the Bible that Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah
had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair."
His father replied, "Yes, Son,
and if you read on further you'll find out that they walked
everywhere they went!"
Submitted by Bill, Narberth,
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of Page, Clean Joke List,
Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?
- Golden Retriever: The sun is
shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of
us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
- Border Collie: Just one. And
then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
- Dachshund: You know I can't
reach that stupid lamp!
- Rottweiler: Make me
- Boxer: Who cares? I can
still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
- Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!!
Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh?
Huh? Huh? Can I Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
- German Shepherd: I'll change
it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to
make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more
perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take
advantage of the situation.
- Jack Russell Terrier: I'll
just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
- Old English Sheep Dog: Light
bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?
- Cocker Spaniel: Why change
it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
- Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco
- Pointer: I see it, there it
is, there it is, right there .
- Greyhound: It isn't moving.
- Australian Shepherd: First,
I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle ....
- Poodle: I'll just blow in
the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he
finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not
change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real
question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light,
some dinner, and a massage?"
Submitted by Debbie,
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Jokes about Animals, My Little
A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for
his chicken coop.
The new rooster struts over to
the old rooster and says, "OK old guy, time for you to retire."
The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of
these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me
have the two old hens over in the corner?"
The young rooster says, "Beat it:
You are washed up and I am taking over." The old rooster says, "I
tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse.
Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken
The young rooster laughs. "You
know you don't stand a chance old man. So, just to be fair I will
give you a head start." The old rooster takes off running. About
15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him.
They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster
has closed the gap. He is already about 5 inches behind the old
rooster and gaining fast.
The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting
in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters
running by. He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - He blows the young
rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dammit...
third gay rooster I bought this month."
Moral of this story.... Don't
mess with the Old Folks - age and treachery will always overcome
youth and skill!
Submitted by Vicki,
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About Aging, My Little
July 2nd Humor Page