Humor Additions for July 28th, 2004

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One Sunday a cowboy went to church.

When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present.

The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.

The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd feed him."

So the minister began his sermon.

One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he liked the sermon.

The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay."

Submitted by Merry ...

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Let's see how good you are on "COMMON KNOWLEDGE". 

No cheating! No looking around; no using anything on or in your desk. Can you beat 18? (The average.) Write down your answers and check the answers (which are on the bottom of e-mail) after completing all the questions. And remember ... No Cheating!

  1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?
  2. How many states are there? (Don't laugh, some people don't know)
  3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?
  4. What 6 colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label?
  5. What 2 letters don't appear on the telephone dial? (No cheating!)
  6. What 2 numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?
  7. When you walk does your left arm swing w/your right or left leg?
  8. How many matches are in a standard pack [cardboard flip top]?
  9. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?
  10. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?
  11. Which way does water go down the drain in the US, counter or clockwise?
  12. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?
  13. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?
  14. Which side of a women's blouse are the buttons on?
  15. On a NY license plate, is New York on the top or bottom?
  16. Which way do fans rotate?
  17. Whose face is on a dime?
  18. How many sides does a stop sign have?
  19. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?
  20. How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?
  21. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?
  22. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?
  23. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?
  24. On which playing card is the cardmaker's trademark?
  25. On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?
  26. On the back of a $1 bill, what is in the center?
  27. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?
  28. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?
  29. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?

Submitted by Larry, Walkersville, Md.


  1. Bottom
  2. 50 (please tell me you at least got this one!)
  3. Right
  4. Blue, red, white, yellow, black, and gold
  5. Q Z
  6. 1 and 0
  7. Right
  8. 20
  9. Red
  10. 88
  11. Counter (unless you happen to be south of the equator)
  12. Towards bottom right
  13. 12 (no #1)
  14. Left
  15. Top
  16. Clockwise as you look at it
  17. Roosevelt
  18. 8
  19. Left
  20. 5
  21. 6
  22. Bashful
  23. 8
  24. Did you notice there wasn't one?
  25. Ace of spades
  26. Left
  27. ONE
  28.  *, #
  29. 3
  30. Counter

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Senator Narrowly Escapes Wreck ...  

The Associated Press reports that New York junior Senator Hillary Clinton narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft that she was piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing in Southern Texas because of bad weather. National Transportation Safety Board officials have issued a preliminary determination that pilot error contributed to the accident, and that the senator was flying in IFR conditions while only having obtained a VFR, single engine land rating. The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured. Pictures taken at the scene show the extent of damage to Senator Clinton's aircraft.

See Picture of Wreckage Below!!!

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