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Mary Clancy
goes up to Father O'Grady after his
Sunday morning service, and she's in
tears.
He says, "So
what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh,
Father, I've got terrible news. My
husband passed away last night."
The priest
says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell
me, Mary, did he have any last
requests?"
She says,
"That he did, Father.. "
The priest
says, "What did he ask, Mary? "
She says, "He
said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn
gun...'
Submitted
by Vicki, Downingtown, PA.
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The difference between margarine
and butter ...
- Both have the same amount of
calories. Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams
compared to 5 grams.
- Eating margarine can increase
heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of
butter according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.
- Eating butter increases the
absorption of many other nutrients in other foods. Butter has
many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few only because
they are added!
- Butter tastes much better than
margarine and it can enhance the flavors of other foods.
- Butter has been around for
centuries where margarine has been around forless than 100
years.
Now for Margarine...
- Very high in Trans Fatty
Acids... Triple risk of Coronary Heart Disease..
- Increases total cholesterol
and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol)
- Lowers HDL cholesterol, (the
good cholesterol) .... Increases the risk of cancers by up to
five fold...
- Lowers quality of breast milk
... Decreases immune response...
- Decreases insulin response.
And here is the most disturbing fact....
Here Is the Part That Is Very
Interesting!
Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE
away from being PLASTIC...This fact alone was enough to have me
avoiding margarine for life and anything else that is hydrogenated
(this means hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure of
the substance).
YOU can try this yourself:
purchase a tub of margarine and leave it in your garage or shaded
area. Within a couple of days you will note a couple of things: no
flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that
should tell you something) ... it does not rot or smell
differently .. because it has no nutritional value, nothing will
grow on it ... even those teeny weeny microorganisms will not a
find a home to grow.
Why? Because it is nearly
plastic.
Would you melt your Tupperware
and spread that on your toast?
Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg,
PA.
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Proof that
Angels
do have wings
An article in National Geographic several
years ago provided a Penetrating picture of God's wings.
After a forest fire in Yellowstone National
Park, forest rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess
the inferno's damage.
One ranger found a bird literally petrified in
ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree.
Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he
knocked over the bird with a stick. When he gently struck it,
three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's wings.
The loving mother, keenly aware of impending
disaster, had carried her offspring to the base of the tree and
had gathered them under her wings, instinctively knowing that
the toxic smoke would rise. She could have flown to safety but
refused to abandon her babies.
When the blaze had arrived and the heat had
scorched her small body, the mother had remained steadfast.
Because she had been willing to die, those under the cover of
her wings would live.
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Why men shouldn't baby-sit ...
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Feb
13th Humor Page
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