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Three blondes died and found
themselves standing before St. Peter.
He told them that before
they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what
Easter was.
The first blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have
a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey." St. Peter
said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to Hell.
The second blonde said, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus'
birth and exchange gifts." St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he
banished her to Hell.
The third blonde said, she knew what Easter is, and St.
Peter said, "So, tell me." She said, "Easter is a Christian
holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover.
Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples when he
was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The
Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then
they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder .. St.
Peter smiled and said, "Verrrrrry good."
Then the blonde continued, "Now every year the Jews roll
away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow,
we have six more weeks of basketball." St. Peter fainted.
Submitted by Sr. Wink,
The Bronx, NY
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A young couple were on
their honeymoon.
The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the
bathtub saying to himself, "Now how can I tell my wife that
I've got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely
stink? I've managed to keep it from her while we were
dating, but she's bound to find out sooner or later that my
feet stink. Now how do I tell her?"
Meanwhile, the wife was
sitting in the bed saying to herself, "Now how do I tell my
husband that I've got really bad breath? I've been very
lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as
soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound to find
out. Now how do I tell him gently?"
The husband finally plucks
up enough courage to tell his wife and so he walks into the
bedroom.
He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his
arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and
says, "Darling, I've a confession to make."
And she says, "So have I, love."
To which he replies, "Wait, let me guess... you've eaten my
socks!"
Submitted by Al, Settle,
Wa.
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A little boy wanted to meet
God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived ...
...
so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a six-pack of
root beer and he started his journey. When he had gone about
three blocks, he met an old man. He was sitting in the park
just staring at some pigeons.
The boy sat down next to him and
opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his
root beer when he noticed that the old man looked hungry, so
he offered him a Twinkie.
He gratefully accepted it and smiled
at him. His smile was so pleasant that the boy wanted to see
it again, so he offered him a root beer. Again, he smiled at
him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon
eating and smiling, but they never said a word.
As it grew dark, the boy realized
how tired he was and he got up to leave, but before he had
gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to
the old man and gave him a hug. He gave him his biggest
smile ever.
When the boy opened the door to his
own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by
the look of joy on his face. She asked him, "What did you do
today that made you so happy? "He replied, "I had lunch with
God." But before his mother could respond, he added, "You
know what? He's got the most beautiful smile I've ever
seen!"
Meanwhile, the old man, also radiant
with joy, returned to his home. His son was stunned by the
look of peace on his face and he asked, "Dad, what did you
do today that made you so happy?" He replied, "I ate
Twinkies in the park with God." However, before his son
responded, he added, "You know, he's much younger than I
expected."
Too often we underestimate the power
of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest
compliment, or the smallest act of caring... all of which
have the potential to turn a life around. People come into
our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Embrace all
equally!
Submitted by Vicki, Downingtown,
PA.
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