A company, feeling it was time
for a shake-up, hires a new CEO.
This new boss is determined to rid the
company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO
notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and
he wants to let them know he means business!
The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And
how much money do you make a week?"
Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him
and replies, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?"
The CEO then hands the guy $300 in cash
and screams, "Here's a week's pay, now GET OUT and don't come
Feeling pretty good about his first
firing, the CEO looks around the room And asks "Does anyone want
to tell me what that goof-off did here?"
With a sheepish grin one of the other
"Pizza delivery guy from Domino's".
Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg, Pa.
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about work, My
Little Sister's Jokes,
Really bad puns to start you
week off ...
- What do you get when you toss a hand
grenade into a kitchen in France? Linoleum blownapart.
- A city in Alaska passed a law outlawing
all dogs. It became known as Dogless Fairbanks.
- Which famous golfer loves to drink
wine? Litre Vino.
- A man goes to a dermatologist with a
rare skin disease. The doctor says, "Try a milk bath". So the
guy goes to the grocery store and tells the dairy manager he
needs enough milk to take a bath. The dairy guys ask "You want
that pasteurized?" "Nah", the man replies "Up to my chin should
- What's the difference between an angry
circus owner and a Roman barber? One is a raving showman, and
the other is a shaving Roman.
- In ancient Rome, deli workers were told
that they could eat anything they wanted during the lunch hour.
Anything, that is except the smoked salmon. Thus were created
the world's first anti-lox breaks.
- Did you hear about the red ship and the
blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned.
- Did you hear about the two men from the
monastery who opened a fast-food seafood restaurant? One was the
fish friar, the other was the chip monk.
- A scientist cloned himself but the
experiment created a duplicate who used very foul language. As
the clone cursed and swore, the scientist finally pushed it out
the window, and it fell to its death. Later the scientist was
arrested for making an obscene clone fall. Never lick a gift
horse in the mouth.
- A man at a tool and die company died
today when he was hit with a tool.
Submitted by Don, Middletown, Md.
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of Page, Groaner Joke List,
I recently read your column advising
grandparents on "tough love."
It offered advice to grandparents
with respect to misbehaving grandchildren those whose own parents
let them run wild. I have followed your advice, and enclose a
picture demonstrating the technique I employ on my grandson when
he just won't behave. They do not allow me to spank him, so I just
take him for a ride, and he usually calms down afterward.
Tough Love Grandma
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