His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the hard to explain subject...to a six year old.

When she had finished, Little Morris produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said,

...."Yes Mommy, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?

Submitted by Dick, Williamsport. Md.

• Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
• Reintardation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
• Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, fortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
• Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
• Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
• Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
• Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
• Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
• Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
• Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
• Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
• Glibido: All talk and no action.
• Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
• Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
• Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
• Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

• Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an arsehole