Humor Additions for Friday, Nov 21st, 2003

    My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List

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The Queen and President Bush were riding in a coach to Buckingham Palace ...

... discussing the difficulties in establishing order in Iraq when the left wheel horse lifted his tail and let loose a miasmic cloud of gas.

After several moments of embarrassed silence the Queen said, "Well. Mr. President, as you can see even the Queen can't control everything."

The President replied, "I appreciate that Your Majesty. But until you mentioned it I thought that horse had done it."

Submitted by Tom, Willow Pond Farm

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Little Morris returning home from his first day at school and asked his mother, "What's sex?"

His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the hard to explain a six year old.

When she had finished, Little Morris produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said,

...."Yes Mommy, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?

Submitted by Dick, Williamsport. Md.

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New word winners for 2003 ...
  • Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
  • Reintardation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
  • Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, fortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
  • Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
  • Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
  • Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
  • Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
  • Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
  • Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
  • Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
  • Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
  • Glibido: All talk and no action.
  • Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
  • Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
  • Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
  • Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

  • Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an arsehole

Submitted by Debbie, Middletown, Md.

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Nov 19th Humor Page