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Two little kids are in the
hospital, lying on beds next to each other outside the operating
room.
The first kid leans over
and asks, "What are you in for?"
The second kid says, "I'm in here to get
my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to
worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to
sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice
cream. It's a breeze."
The second kid then says, "What are you
here for?"
The first kid says, "A circumcision."
And the second kid says, "Whoa, I had that
done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."
Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg, Pa.
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My Little
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A minister decided to do
something a little different one Sunday morning.
He said "Today, in church,
I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me
preach".
Whatever single word I say, I want you to
sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind.
The pastor shouted out, "Cross."
Immediately the congregation started
singing in unison, "The Old Rugged Cross".
The pastor hollered out "Grace". The
congregation began to sing "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound."
The pastor said "Power". The congregation
sang "There is Power in the Blood.
The Pastor said "Sex." The congregation
fell into total silence.
Everyone was in shock. They all nervously
began to look around at each other afraid to say anything.
Then all of a sudden from way in the back
of the church a little 87 year old grandmother stood up! and began
to sing..... "Precious Memories."
Submitted by Pat, Clear Lake, Va.
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Dear
Tide: I am writing to say what an
excellent product you have!
In fact, about a month ago while at
home, I spilled some red wine on my
new white blouse. My husband started
to berate me about my drinking problem
and how
expensive the blouse was. One thing
lead to another and I ended up with a
lot of his blood on my white blouse,
as well.
I tried to get the stain out using the
bargain detergent my cheap husband
bought, but it just wouldn't come out.
I went to the local convenience store
and got a bottle of liquid Tide with
bleach alternative, and all of the
stains came out! They came out so
well, in fact, that the police's DNA
tests were negative!
I thank you, once again, for a great
product!
Well, gotta go, I have to write a
letter to the Hefty bag people.
Sincerely,
Recently Widowed
Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, Md.
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Office
signs take 1:
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Nov
14th Humor Page
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