The 2002 Darwin Awards ...
- The chef at a hotel in
Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a
little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance
company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and
lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
- A man who shoveled snow for an
hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago
returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her.
- After stopping for drinks at
an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental
patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to
Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the
driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting
there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
discovered for 3 days.
- An American teenager was in
the hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds
received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see
how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was
- A man walked into a Louisiana
Circle-K, puts a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change.
When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and
asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving
the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got
from the drawer? $15.
- As a female shopper exited a
New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The
clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give
them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the
police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and
drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car
and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,
"Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse
from." 9) The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m.,
flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down
because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a
food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said
they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated,
- When a man attempted to siphon
gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got
much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to
find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled
sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor
home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined
to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever
Submitted by Mike, Broomfield,
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Stories, My Little
The police were on the pursuit of
two burglars, a man and a woman ...
After an intense search the
detectives caught up with the burglars and brought them into the
jailhouse. The Captain of the precinct looked at the detective and
said: "I want to question the burglar wearing women's clothes"
The detective looked chagrined:
"I'm sorry, Captain, but you're gonna have to wear your own
clothes, that's the rules!"
Submitted by Jerry,
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That darn cat ...
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