Humor Additions for Wednesday, March 19th


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In an effort to avert war, Bush travels to Baghdad to negotiate with Saddam.

As George sits down he notices that Saddam's chair has three red buttons on one arm. After a few minutes of talking Saddam pushes one of the buttons and a boxing glove pops out of a compartment in the desk and punches George on the nose, Saddam laughs loudly and George continues trying to negotiate.

After another couple of minutes Saddam pushes a second button and a boot swings out and kicks George on the shin, he grimaces and Saddam laughs even louder.

Finally Saddam pushes the third button and a boot kicks George in the balls, Saddam laughs hysterically and George has had enough.

'Ok that's it, I’m going home. We will continue these talks in two weeks time in Washington.'

Two weeks later Saddam arrives to talk to George, he notices three red buttons on George's chair arm and expects to be repaid for his treatment of the US President.

After a few minutes George pushes a button and Saddam leaps out of his chair but nothing happens and George giggles.

After a minute or two George pushes the second button and once again Saddam throws himself out of the chair but again nothing happens and Bush giggles even louder.

Finally, George pushes the third button and once again Saddam expects to be hit by something and leaps from the chair but nothing happens.

Saddam is fuming as Bush rolls around the floor giggling like a maniac.

'I've had enough of this, I'm going back to Baghdad.'

Bush wipes the tears from his eyes and says through his giggles. 'What Baghdad?'

Submitted by Michael
 

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26 Signs That You've Already Grown Up
  • Your potted plants stay alive.
  • Even the thought of having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
  • You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
  • 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
  • You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
  • You carry an umbrella because you watch the Weather Channel.
  • Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup.
  • You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
  • Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up.'
  • You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.
  • Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
  • You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
  • Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
  • You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.
  • Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
  • You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
  • Dinner and a movie has become the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
  • MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.
  • You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.
  • A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'.
  • You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
  • Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, diet Pepsi & Ding Dongs.
  • ‘I just can't drink the way I used to,’ replaces ‘I'm never going to drink that much again.’
  • Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
  • You don't drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
  • You read this entire list looking for one sign that doesn't apply to you.

Submitted by Larry
 

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