Things You'd Love to Say at Work, But Can't!
- "Well aren't we a bloody ray
- "Don't bother me, I'm living
happily ever after.
- Therapy is expensive. Popping
bubble plastic is cheap. You choose.
- Practice random acts of
intelligence and senseless acts of self-control.
- I'm not crazy. I've been in a
very bad mood for thirty years.
- Do they ever shut up on your
- I'm not your type. I'm not
- Stress is when you wake up
screaming and realize you haven't gone to sleep yet.
- Back off! You're standing in
- Don't worry. I forgot your
- I work 45 hours a week to be
- Wait. I'm trying to imagine
you with a personality.
- Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
- Earth is full. Go home.
- Aw, did I step on your poor
little itty bitty ego?
- I'm not tense, just terribly,
- I'm already visualizing duct
tape over your mouth.
- Can I trade this job for
what's behind door #1?
- I'll try to be nicer, if you
try to be smarter.
- How about never? Is never good
- What ever kind of look you
were going for, you missed.
- I like you. You remind me of
when I was young and stupid.
- Yes, I am an agent of Satan,
but my duties are largely ceremonial.
- You're a good example of why
some animals eat their young.
- Am I getting smart with you?
How would you know?
- I'm NOT stressed out. You're
just extremely annoying!
- Have a nice day. somewhere
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Submitted by Mike, Broomfield,
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Classes for men at our local
learning center for adults..
Note: due to the complexity and
difficulty level of their content, each course will accept a
maximum of 8 participants.
- Topic 1 - How to fill up the
ice cube trays Step by step, with slide presentation.
- Topic 2 - The toilet paper
roll: do they grow on the holders? Round table discussion.
- Topic 3 - Is it possible to
urinate using the technique of lifting the seat up And avoiding
the floor/walls and nearby bathtub? Group practice.
- Topic 4 - Fundamental
differences between the laundry hamper and the floor. Pictures
and explanatory graphics.
- Topic 5 - The after-dinner
dishes and silverware: can they levitate and fly into The
kitchen sink? Examples on video.
- Topic 6 - Loss of identity:
losing the remote or allowing others to use it. Help line
support and support groups.
- Topic 7 - Learning how to find
things, starting with looking in the right place Instead of
turning the house upside down while screaming. Open forum.
- Topic 8 - Health watch:
bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. Graphics and
- Topic 9 - Real men ask for
directions when lost. Real life testimonials.
- Topic 10 - Is it genetically
impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks? Driving
- Topic 11 - Learning to live:
basic differences between living alone or with Others. Online
classes and role-playing.
- Topic 12 - How to be the ideal
shopping companion. Relaxation, exercises, meditation and
- Topic 13 - How to fight
cerebral atrophy: remembering birthdays, anniversaries, Other
important dates and calling when you're going to be late.
Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.
- Topic 14 - Car keys and other
items: Practice on developing skills of putting things back
where they belong so that they can be easily found.
Upon completion of the course,
diplomas will be issued to any survivors.
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