At the Henry Street Hebrew
School, Goldblatt, the new teacher ...
... finished the day's lesson. It
was now time for the usual question period.
"Mr. Goldblatt," announced little
Joey, "there's something I can't figger out."
"What's that Joey?" asked
"Well according to the Bible, the
Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"
"An' the Children of Israel beat
up the Philistines, right?"
"An' the Children of Israel built
the Temple, right?"
"Again you're right."
"An' the Children of Israel
fought the 'gyptians, an' the Children of Israel fought the
Romans, an' the Children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin'
"All that is right, too," agreed
Goldblatt. "So what's your question?"
"What I wanna know is this,"
demanded Joey. "What wuz all the grown-ups doing?"
Submitted by Debbie, Proud
Fifteen Minutes of Fame By Marty
I dashed out an exit at O'Hare
International Airport in Chicago and ran towards a waiting cab. I
was greeted by a cab driver with a three-day-old beard, an old
baseball cap and arms the size of tree trunks. As he tossed my
bags into the trunk, he spotted my luggage tags and said, "What
kind of doctor are you?"
"A veterinarian," I said.
Instantly, his grizzled face broke into a smile. This happens to
veterinarians all the time, as people love to talk about their
The doors slammed, he put the car
into gear and hit me with this opening salvo, "My wife claims I
love my toy poodle Missy more than I love her. Just once, she
wants me to be as excited to see her as I am Missy. But Doc, it
ain't gonna happen. Ya see, when I get home from a long day in the
cab, dead tired, I open the door and there are the two of them
looking at me, Ma and Missy. Ma has a scowl on her face and is
ready to tear into me. Missy, on the other hand, is shaking all
over, she's that happy - her face is grinning so wide, she could
eat a banana sideways. Now who do you think I'm going to run to?"
I nodded my head in agreement
because I understood his point only too well. He loved his wife,
but he simply wanted permission to savor his fifteen minutes of
Everybody gets fifteen minutes of
fame once in his lifetime. We pet owners get our fifteen minutes
every time we come home - or even return from the next room.
A few days after I saw the cab
driver in Chicago, I returned home. I was tired from my travels
and looking forward to seeing my family. Pulling into the
driveway, I peered through the windshield, straining to catch a
glimpse of my loved ones. My two children, Mikkel and Lex, are
very close to good ol' dad, but I didn't see their faces pressed
against the window looking for me. Nor did my beloved wife,
Teresa, come running in super slow motion across the yard, arms
open wide ready to embrace me.
But I didn't despair. I knew I
was still wanted, a Hollywood heartthrob, hometown hero to my two
dogs: Scooter, a wirehaired fox terrier, and, Sirloin, a black
As soon as I exited the pickup,
Sirloin and Scooter charged to meet me. Their love-filled eyes
danced with excitement, and their tail turbochargers whipped them
into a delighted frenzy of fur.
Was this affection-connection
routine, or ho-hum for me? Was I cool, calm and collected? Heck
no. I turned into a blithering idiot as I got out of my truck and
rushed to meet the hairy-princess, Scooter, and Sirloin, the
There I stood, all these false
layers stripped away, masks removed and performances canceled. It
was my true self. Extra pounds, bad-hair day, angry people, travel
strains, no matter. Scooter and Sirloin came to the emotional
rescue and allowed me to drink in the sheer love and joy of the
moment. I was drunk with contentment.
I was glad this took place in the
privacy of my own home. What happened next might have spoiled my
polished professional image. I immediately smiled, and raised my
voice an octave or two, exclaiming, "Sirloin, yuz is daaaaddy's
boy, aren't ya?" And, "Scooter have you been a good girl today?
Yeah, you have, you've been a goooood girl!!"
They responded by turning inside
out with delight, pressing themselves against my legs and talking
to me. I felt as if I could tap directly into their wellspring of
positive, healing energy. Gee, it was great to be home!
I bounded up the steps to find
the rest of the family, heart open, stress gone and spirits
restored by my fifteen minutes of fame.
Submitted by Julie,