Humor Additions for Monday, January 20th

    My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List 

New jokes posted on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Happily maintained  by the Community of Emmitsburg, MD.

Help us build our joke and story bank.
E-mail us at:

You know you're from South Carolina if ...

  • You measure distance in minutes.
  • You've ever had to switch from heat to air conditioning in the same day.
  • You see a car running in a store parking lot with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
  • You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.
  • All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
  • You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
  • You carry jumper cables in your car... for your OWN car.
  • You know what "cow tipping" is.
  • You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete and catsup.
  • The local papers cover national and international news on one page and six pages for local gossip and sports.
  • Your think that the first day deer season is a national holiday.
  • You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."
  • You know all four seasons: almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
  • Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as "Goin' wal-martin" or "Off to ' Wally World'."
  • You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.
  • A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinna coke you want?"
  • Fried Catfish is the other white meat.

Submitted By Andy, Gettysburg, Pa.

Return to: Top of Page, List of You Know Your From, My Little Sister's Jokes,

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What

setting do I use on the washing machine?"

I replied, "It depends. What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "Green Bay Packers."

Submitted by Rosemary, Thurmont, Md.

Return to: Top of Page, List of Jokes About Men, My Little Sister's Jokes,

Actual comments made by patients during colonoscopies

  • "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."
  • "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
  • "Can you hear me NOW?"
  • "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"
  • "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"
  • "You know, in some states, we're now legally married."
  • "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
  • "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey...."
  • "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
  • "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
  • "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

Return to: Top of Page, Groaner Joke List, My Little Sister's Jokes,

Cats are small women in fur coats ...
  • Cats do what they want, when they want.
  • They rarely listen to you.
  • They're totally unpredictable.
  • They whine when they are not happy.
  • When you want to play they want to be left alone.
  • When you want to be alone, they want to play.
  • They expect you to cater to their every whim.
  • They're moody.
  • They leave their hair everywhere.
  • They drive you nuts.

Conclusion: Cats are small women in fur coats.

Submitted by Vicki, Downingtown, Pa.

Return to: Top of Page, List of Jokes About Women, My Little Sister's Jokes,

Jan 17th Humor Page