Martha Stewart Vs Real Women
Martha Stewart: To keep potatoes from
budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Real Women: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the
pantry for up to a year.
Martha Stewart: When a cake recipe calls
for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix
instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the
Real Women: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.
Martha Stewart: Stuff a miniature
marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream
Real Women: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the
cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with
your feet up eating it anyway
Martha Stewart: If you accidentally
knock over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a
peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant
"fix me up."
Real Women: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking,
that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's
motto: I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it
Martha Stewart: Wrap celery in aluminum
foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for
Real Women: Celery? Never heard of the stuff.
Martha Stewart: Brush some beaten egg
white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy
Real Women: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include
brushing egg whites over the crust so I just don't do it.
Martha Stewart: Cure for headaches: Take
a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The
throbbing will go away.
Real Women: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, etc., chill and
drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?
Martha Stewart: If you have a problem
opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a
non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women: Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it.
And finally the most important tip:
Martha Stewart: Don't throw out all that
leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in
casseroles and other dishes.
Real Women: Leftover wine?