Paddy had been drinking at his
local Dublin pub all day and most of the night ...
celebrating Ireland's football victory. Mick,
the bartender, says "You'll not be drinking any more tonight,
Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on me way
Paddy spins around on his stool and steps
off. He falls flat on his face.
"Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by
the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door
and falls flat on his face. "Shoite, Shoite!" He looks to the
doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door
and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and
shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and
takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a
step out onto the sidewalk. He falls flat on his face.
"Bi'Jesus... I'm tanked," he says. He can
see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door and
shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He
takes a look up the stairs and says "No way!"
He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom
door and says "If i can just make it to me bed." He takes a step
into the room and falls flat on his face. He says "to hell with
it" and falls into bed.
The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes
into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Paddy.
Did you have a bit to drink last night?".
Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was tanked'
pissed. But how'd you know?"
"Mick called. You left y'wheelchair at the