A French teacher was
explaining that in French nouns are designated as either masculine
feminine - "la maison."
"Pencil" is masculine - "le crayon."
A student asked, "What gender is
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher
split the class into two groups -male and female - and asked them
to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine
or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give four reasons
for their recommendation.
The men's group decided that "computer"
should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"),
No one but their creator understands their
internal logic; The native language they use to communicate with
other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else; Even the
smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible
later review; and as soon as you make a commitment to one, you
find yourself spending half your salary on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that
computers should be masculine ("le computer") because:
In order to do anything with them, you
have to turn them on; They have a lot of data but still can't
think for themselves; They are supposed to help you solve
problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and as soon as
you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little
longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won
Submitted by Kate, Columbia,
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of Page, Computer Joke List,
An older lady was somewhat lonely
and decided she needed a pet to keep her company.
So off to the pet shop she
went. She searched and searched. Nothing seemed to catch her
interest, except this ugly frog. As she walked by the jar he
was in, she looked and he winked at her and whispered , "Iím
lonely too, buy me and you wont be sorry."
The old lady figured .... what the heck,
she hadnít found anything else. She bought the frog and put
him in the car. Driving down the road the frog whispered to her
"kiss me and you wont be sorry"
So the old lady figured What the heck, and
kissed the frog. Immediately the frog turned into an absolutely
gorgeous young handsome prince. The prince then kissed the
old lady back ... and guess what the old lady turned into?
Come on Guess!!!
She turned into the first motel she could
find ... She's old ... not dead!!!!!
Submitted by Dick, Williamsport, Md.
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About Aging, My Little
Close Encounter with Mars
Never again in your lifetime will the Red
Planet be so spectacular. This month and next, Earth is catching
up with Mars, an encounter that will culminate in the closest
approach between the two planets in recorded history. The next
time Mars may come this close is in 2287. Due to the way Jupiter's
gravity tugs on Mars and perturbs its orbit, astronomers can only
be certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth in the last
5,000 years but it may be as long as 60,000 years. The encounter
will culminate on August 27th when Mars comes to within 34,649,589
miles and will be (next to the moon) the brightest object in the
night sky. It will attain a magnitude of -2.9 and will appear
25.11 arc seconds wide. At a modest 75-power magnification Mars
will look as large as the full moon to he naked eye.
Mars will be easy to spot. At the
beginning of August, Mars will rise in the east at 10 p.m. and
reach its azimuth at about 3 a.m. But by the end of August when
the two planets are closest, Mars will rise at nightfall and reach
its highest point in the sky at 12:30 a.m. That's pretty
convenient when it comes to seeing something that no human has
seen in recorded history.
So mark your calendar at the beginning of
August to see Mars grow progressively brighter and brighter
throughout the month. Share with your children and grandchildren.
No one alive today will ever see this again.
Not only will Mars be close to earth, but
at about the same time it will be in opposition and conjunction
(e.g., the sun will be directly behind earth and in line with
Mars), so it will be fully illuminated - no crescents to deal
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This years top cute pet pictures
... take 1 ...
Wait ... you
have a little spot right here ...
20th Humor Page