Humor Additions for Wednesday, April 30th

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A Letter from Grandma

Dear Friend,

The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "Honk If You Love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed!

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is...and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!"

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a "sunny beach"... I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson burst out laughing ... he was enjoying this religious experience, too!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers grinning, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!

Love, Grandma

Submitted by Debbie, Middletown, Md

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The good news and the bad news for Saddam's doubles...

All eight of Saddam Hussein's body doubles were gathered in a bunker in downtown Baghdad.

Tariq Aziz, the Deputy Prime Minister, walked in and said, "I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that Saddam is still alive, so you all still have a job."

One of the doubles spoke up and said, "what's the bad news"?

"He's lost an arm."

Submitted by Michael

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Golden Books That Never Made It
  1. You Are Different And That's Bad
  2. The Boy Who Died - From Eating All His Vegetables
  3. Dad's New Wife Robert
  4. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
  5. Curious George and the High Voltage Fence
  6. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
  7. Some Kittens Can Fly
  8. That's It, I'm Putting You Up For Adoption
  9. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
  10. Strangers Have The Best Candy
  11. You Were an Accident
  12. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
  13. Pop! Goes the Hamster...And Other Microwave Games
  14. The Man In The Moon Is Actually Satan
  15. Your Nightmares Are Real
  16. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
  17. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
  18. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?

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April 28th Humor Page