one female and the other male, both nude. These two statues faced each other for many, many years.

Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "The two of you have been truly exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people that have visited the park over the years. I am hereby authorized by God to give you the greatest wish that can be bestowed on you...

I grant you the gift of life ~ albeit as a limited offer. You have 30 minutes to do whatever your hearts desire."

And with that command, the two statues came to life. They smiled at each other, slowly moved their limbs about in wonderment, looked all around and then at their own bodies and finally back at each other. Still smiling they then ran to the nearby woods and dived behind a large bush.

The angel smiled to herself as she listened to the giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, looking extremely satisfied and wearing nothing but even bigger smiles than before.

Puzzled, the angel looked at her watch and said to them, "You still have fifteen minutes. Wouldn't you like to continue?"

The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"

"Oh, Yes!", the female statue replied. "But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and 'I'll crap on it's head!"

So the proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful new son.

Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry. The father did everything he could think of to do but the baby wouldn't stop crying.

Finally, the dad got so worried he decided to take the infant to the doctor. After the doctor listened to the father all that he had one to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine the baby's ears, chest and then down to the diaper area.

When he undid the diaper, he found that the diaper was indeed full.

"Here's the problem," the doctor said. "He needs a change."

...until he was appointed a new lawyer. The lawyer comforted his client with the soothing words "Ah, don't a worry 'bout a thing, you goin' outta here flying!"

The judge reviewed Jimmy's case yet the lawyer never argued his client's case. The shyster said: "Look, for $230 more I can really help you out", Jimmy said: "Here ya go" and the lawyer assured him: "Don't worry, we're a winnin' this case, you're goin' outta here flying!"

A few days pass and the lawyer still hadn't said anything on his client's behalf. What shocked everyone was when the judge announced that Jimmy Sedan was to face the electric chair for the murder of a next door neighbor. The lawyer still remained silent. Jimmy faced the jury and the judge asked: "Is there anything, Jimmy Sedan, you wish to say before I sentence you to die in the electric chair?"

Sedan looked at his pokerfaced lawyer and pleaded: "You told me not to worry. That the case was a piece of cake. You kept saying I was goin' outta here flying!"

The lawyer looked puzzled and said: "Oh, so sorry, my mistake, my native Japanese got the better of me...I meant to say you're goin' outta here frying!"