Humor Additions for Wednesday, Sept 11

    My Little Sister's Jokes > Recent Addition List 

New jokes posted on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
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You know you know you're from a small town if:
  • You can name everyone you graduated with.
  • You know what 4-H is.
  • You ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road.
  • You schedule parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you know which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't.
  • You ever went cow tipping or snipe hunting.
  • School gets cancelled for state events.
  • You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and if you were old enough, they'd tell your parents anyhow).
  • It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.
  • You had senior skip day.
  • The whole school went to the same party after graduation.
  • You don't give directions by street names, but by references (turn by Nelson's house, go two blocks east of Anderson's, and it's 4 houses to the left of the track field).
  • The cc golf course only has 9 holes.
  • You can't help but date a friend's ex-girlfriend/boyfriend.
  • Your car stays filthy because of dirt roads, and you will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.
  • You think kids that ride skateboards are weird.
  • The town next to you is considered snooty, but is actually just like your town.
  • Getting paid minimum wage is considered a raise.
  • You refer to anyone with a house newer than 1980 as the "rich people".
  • The people in the city dress funny, then you pick-up on the trend 2 years later.
  • Anyone you want can be found at the Dairy Queen or the feed store.
  • The city council meets are the coffee shop.
  • Weekend excitement involves a trip to Wal-Mart.
  • Even the ugly people enter beauty pageants.
  • Your teacher calls you by your older siblings names.
  • Your teachers remember when they taught your parents.
  • The closest McDonalds is 45 miles away.
  • So is the closest mall.
  • It is normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawn mower

Submitted by Megan, Emmitsburg, Md.

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British signs ...
  • Spotted in a toilet of a London office: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below
  • In a Laundromat: Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out
  • In a London department store: Bargain basement upstairs
  • In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken
  • In an office: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board
  • Outside a secondhand shop: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines, etc.
  • Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?
  • Notice in health food shop window: Closed due to illness
  • Spotted in a safari park: Elephants please stay in your car
  • Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor
  • Notice in a field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges
  • Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons
  • On a repair shop door: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)

Submitted by Bill, Narberth, PA.

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The wife of Todd Beamer who helped take down the plane that was heading for Washington D. C. ...

... said it's the little things that she misses most about Todd, such as hearing the garage door open as he came home, and her children running to meet him. She's now the Mom of a beautiful little girl, Mary.

Lisa recalled this story: I had a very special teacher in high school many years ago whose husband died suddenly of a heart attack. About a week after his death, she shared some of her insight with a classroom of students. As the late afternoon sunlight came streaming in through the classroom windows and the class was nearly over, she moved a few things aside on the edge of her desk and sat down there.

With a gentle look of reflection on her face, she paused and said, Class is over, I would like to share with all of you, a thought that is unrelated to class, but which I feel is very important. Each of us is put here on earth to learn, share, love, appreciate and give of ourselves. None of us knows when this fantastic experience will end. It can be taken away at any moment.

Perhaps this is the powers (God's) way of telling us that we must make the most out of every single day. Her eyes, beginning to water, she went on, So I would like you all to make me a promise. From now on, on your way to school, or on your way home, find something beautiful to notice. It doesn't have to be something you see, it be can be a scent, perhaps of freshly baked bread wafting out of someone's house, or it could be the sound of the breeze slightly rustling the leaves in the trees, or the way the morning light catches one autumn leaf as it falls gently to the ground.

Please look for these things, and cherish them. For, although it may sound trite to some, these things are the "stuff" of life. The little things we are put here on earth to enjoy. The things we often take for granted. We must make it important to notice them, for at can all be taken away.

The class was completely quiet. We all picked up our books and filed out of the room silently. That afternoon, I noticed more things on my way home from school than I had that whole semester. Every once in a while, I think of that teacher and remember what an impression she made on all of us, and I try to appreciate all of those things that sometimes we all overlook.

Take notice of something special you see on your lunch hour today. Go barefoot. Or walk on the beach at sunset. Stop off on the way home tonight to get a double dip ice cream cone. For as we get older, it is not the things we did that we often regret, but the things we didn't do.

Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg, PA.

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