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A man stood on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm.
As the night went by no cars passed him. The storm was so strong, he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly
he saw a car come towards him and stop..
The guy, without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door to realize that nobody was behind the wheel. The
car started slowly. The guy looked at the road and saw a curve coming his way. Scared, he started praying, and begged for his life. He hadn't
come out of shock, when just before he hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and moved the wheel. The guy, paralyzed in terror,
watched how the hand appeared every time before a curve.
The guy gathered strength, got out of the car and ran to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he ran into a bar and asked
for two shots of tequila, and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he went through. A silence enveloped everybody when they
realized the guy was crying and wasn't drunk.
About half an hour later, two guys walked into the same bar, and one said to the other. "Look Bubba, that's the jerk who
climbed into the car while we were pushing."
Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg, Pa.
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Redneck Jokes, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
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This guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.
He went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally
bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house.
He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to
the bar to have a drink. Then he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's with me and have a beer?" But there was no
answer from his new pet.
This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the bar and having a
drink with me?" But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He
decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go
to Frank's place and have a drink with me?
Pause....
A little voice came out of the box "I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my shoes."
Submitted by Penny, Alexandra, Md.
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Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because you open them up, everything inside is
numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in, "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few
parts left over at the end."
BUT... the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate
on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine and the head and ass are interchangeable."
Submitted by Trink, Austin, Tx.
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Oct 23 Humor Page
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