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A small town
prosecuting attorney called his first witness to
the stand in a trial . .
- a
grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her
and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know
me?"
She responded,
"Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've
known you since you were a young boy. And
frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate
people and talk about them behind their backs.
You think you're a rising big shot when you
haven't the brains to realize you never will
amount to anything more than a two-bit paper
pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was
stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed
across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams,
do you know the defense attorney?"
She again
replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr.
Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to
baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has
been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy,
bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man
can't build a normal relationship with anyone
and his law practice is one of the worst in the
entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
wife with three different women. Yes, I know
him."
The defense
attorney was also surprised and shocked. At this
point, the judge brought the courtroom to
silence and called both counselors to the bench.
In a very quiet
voice, he said with menace, "If either of
you bastards asks her if she knows me, you'll be
jailed for contempt.
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Many of you are
aware that a few weeks ago, the U.S. Supreme
Court ruled . . .
. . . that the
state of Missouri cannot discriminate against
the Ku Klux Klan when it comes to groups that
want to participate in the adopt-a-highway
program.
While seeing
the name of the Klan on a highway sign is
aesthetically disgusting, most realized that
this decision was a victory for free speech and
equal protection under the law.
Well, the
Department of Transportation in Missouri has
gotten its legal revenge, and boy is it sweet.
True, they can't remove the KKK's
adopt-a-highway sign, but no one would dispute
the state's right to name the highway itself.
The KKK is now
regularly cleaning up a stretch of the newly
christened "Rosa Parks Freeway"
Submitted by
Mike, Broomfield, Co.
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For a couple
years now I've been blaming it on lack of sleep
. . .
. . . and too
much pressure from my job, but now I found out
the real reason: I'm tired because I'm
overworked!
- The
population of this country is 237 million
people.
- 104 million
people are retired.
- That leaves
133 million people to do the work.
- There are 85
million people in school, which leaves 48
million people to do the work.
- Of this
there are 29 million people employed by the
federal government.
- Leaving 19
million people to do the work.2.8 million
people are in the Armed Forces, which leaves
16.2 million people to do the work.
- Take from
the total the 14,800,000 people who work for
State and City Governments and that leaves
1.4 million people to do the work.
- At any given
time there are 188,000 people in hospitals,
leaving 1,212,000 people to do the work.
- Now, there
are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
- That leaves
just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And you are
sitting at your computer reading jokes...
Submitted by
Wink, The Bronx, NY.
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