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Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a restaurant having dinner.

Woods turns to Wonder and says, "How's the singing career going?"

Stevie Wonder replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?"

Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that going right now."

Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I

play, it seems to be all right."

Tiger says, "You play golf?"

Wonder says, "Oh, yes, I've been playing for years."

Woods says, "But you're blind! How can you play golf if you can't see?"

Wonder replies, "I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball toward him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball toward his voice."

"But how do you putt?" asks Woods.

"Well," says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground, and I just play the ball toward his voice."

Woods asks, "What's your handicap?"

Stevie says, "Well, I'm a scratch golfer."

Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round sometime."

Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole."

Woods thinks about it and says, "OK, I'm for that, when would you like to play?"

Stevie says, "Pick a night."

Submitted by Jon, Miamisburg, OH.

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The Evolution of Teaching Math

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1970: A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M." The set "C", the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set "M." Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M" and answer the following question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits?

Teaching Math in 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math in 1990: By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the Logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees? There are no wrong answers.

Teaching Math in 2000: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $120. How does Arthur Andersen determine that his profit margin is $6000?

Submitted by Bill, Narberth, Pa.

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Tee Shirt Witticisms (Part 2)
  • Rehab Is for Quitters
  • My Dog Can Lick Anyone
  • Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been doing since 15
  • West Virginia: One Million People and 15 last names
  • FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.
  • A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
  • STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!
  • They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken
  • He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead
  • POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN .... Cops have nothing to go on.
  • FOR SALE - Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
  • A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up a thousand times the memory.
  • The Meek shall inherit the earth, after we're through with it.
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
  • WELCOME TO SOUTH CAROLINA - Set your watch back 20 years.
  • The trouble with life is there's no background music.
  • The original point and click interface was a Smith &Wesson.

Submitted by My Little Sister ...

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