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A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon an old lamp.

She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold, a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.

The Genie said, "Nope... due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries, and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So....what will it be?"

The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Get real lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but NOT THAT GOOD! Make another wish."

The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, is GOOD in bed and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all time and is faithful. That's what I wish for ... a good mate."

The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Let me see that map!"

Submitted by Bill, Narberth, Pa.

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The following were some comments made in the year 1957:
  • "I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, its going to be impossible to buy a weeks groceries for $20.00."
  • "Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long when $5000 will only buy a used one."
  • "If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous."
  • "Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?"
  • "If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."
  • "When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage,"
  • "Kids today are impossible. Those ducktail hair cuts make it Impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls."
  • "I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying damn in "Gone With The Wind", it seems every new movie has either hell or damn in it."!
  • "I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas."
  • "Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday that they will be making more than the President."
  • "I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now."
  • "It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet."
  • "It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work."
  • "Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more, those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorces at the drop of a hat."
  • "I'm just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business."
  • "Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to Congress."
Submitted by Larry, Greenfield, OH

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Everything I Ever Needed to Know, I learned from Noah's Ark
  • Don't miss the boat.
  • Remember that we are all in the same boat.
  • Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
  • Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
  • Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
  • Build your future on high ground.
  • For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
  • Speed isn't always an advantage.
  • The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
  • When you're stressed, float a while.
  • No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.

Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg, Pa.

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