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The State of North Dakota has mobilized it's elite Special Forces Ground Units specializing in subterranean warfare to Afghanistan.

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld announced today that over 100,000 of these elite fighters would be mobilized immediately to search out and destroy Taliban and al-Qaida forces hiding in caves and in the mountains.

"We didn't think we were going to have to use these elite forces" said Rumsfeld, "but it's time to end this thing ... these fighters are specially trained for subterranean attack and can even be used to locate and dismantle land mines".

Click here to jump to bottom of page to see a photo of a member of North Dakota Elite Special Forces Ground Units.

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An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin . . .

. . . orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other is in Australia, and I'm in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each o'me brothers and one for me self." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drink the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The Irishman looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," He explains, "it's just that me wife had us join that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't affected me brothers though."

Submitted by Marianne, Columbia, Md.

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Polish Marines stormed Bloomingdale's Department Store . . .

. . . in New York Yesterday after its intelligence agency reported that Bed Linen was on the fourth floor.

No one was hurt.

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North Dakota Elite Special Forces Ground Units Trooper

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