More Bumper Stickers that prove
American's have a great sense of humor!
- I don't suffer from
insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
- I Work Hard Because Millions
On Welfare Depend on Me.
- Some people are alive only
because it's illegal to kill them.
- I used to have a handle on
life, but it broke.
- Don't take life too
seriously, you won't get out alive.
- You're just jealous because
the voices only talk to me.
- BEER: It's not just for
breakfast anymore.
- I got a gun for my wife,
best trade I ever made.
- So you're a feminist ...
Isn't that cute.
- Beauty is in the eye of the
beer holder.
- Earth is the insane asylum
for the universe.
- I'm not a complete idiot,
some parts are missing.
- Earth first...we'll mind the
other planets later.
- Out of my mind. Back in five
minutes.
- As long as there are tests,
there will be prayer in public schools.
- God must love stupid people,
he made so many.
- The gene pool could use a
little chlorine.
- Change is inevitable, except
from a vending machine.
- It IS as BAD as you think,
and they ARE out to get you.
- I took an IQ test and the
results were negative.
- It's lonely at the top, but
you eat better.
- Give me ambiguity or give me
something else.
- I know what you're thinking,
and you should be ashamed of yourself.
- Elvis is dead, and I'm not
feeling too good myself.
- Always remember you're
unique, just like everyone else.
- Very funny, Scotty. Now beam
up my clothes.
- Consciousness: that annoying
time between naps.
- Ever stop to think, and
forget to start again?
- CAT----- The Other White
Meat
- Beer----- The Reason I Get
Up Each Afternoon
- I'm Out Of Bed And
Dressed-----What More Do You Want?
- Remember My Name------You'll
Be Screaming It Later.
- Jesus loves you. Everybody
else thinks you're an ass.
- I miss my wife, but my aim
is getting better.
Submitted by Mike, Broomfield, Co.
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of Humorous Sayings, My Little
Sister's Jokes,
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I have recently
been diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.! Age Activated Attention Deficit
Disorder
This is how it goes: I decide
to wash the car; I start toward the garage and notice the mail
on the table. OK, I'm going to wash the car. But first I'm going
to go through the mail. I lay the car keys down on the desk,
discard the advertising mail and I notice the trash can is full.
OK, I'll just put the bills on my desk and take the trash can
out, but since I'm going
to be near the mailbox anyway, I'll pay these few bills first.
Now, where is my checkbook?
Oops, there's only one check left. My extra checks are in my
desk. Oh, there's the coke I was drinking. I'm going to look for
those checks. But first I need to put my coke further away from
the computer, oh maybe I'll pop it into the fridge to keep it
cold for a while.
I head towards the kitchen and
my flowers catch my eye, they need some water. I set the coke on
the counter and ooh oh! There are my glasses. I was looking for
them all morning! I'd better put them away first. I fill a
container with water and head for the flower pots - - Aaaaaagh!
Someone left the TV remote in
the kitchen. We'll never think to look in the kitchen tonight
when we want to watch television so I'd better put it back in
the family room where it belongs.
I splash some water into the
pots and onto the floor, I throw the remote onto a soft cushion
on the sofa and I head back down the hall trying to figure out
what it was I was going to do?
End of Day: The car isn't
washed, the bills are unpaid, the coke is sitting on the kitchen
counter, the flowers are half watered, the checkbook still only
has one check in it and I can't seem to find my car keys! When I
try to figure out how come nothing got done today,
I'm baffled because I KNOW I
WAS BUSY ALL DAY LONG!!! I realize this is a serious condition
and I'll get help, BUT FIRST I think I'll check my e-mail...
Submitted by Marianne, Columbia,
Md.
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About Aging, My Little
Sister's Jokes
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Submitted by Kevin,
Dallas, Tx
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to Feb 18 Humor Page
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