"I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want any pain killers because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way." 

The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" 

The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."

• Butterflies taste with their feet.
• A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
• In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
• On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
• On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
• Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
• Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
• Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
• Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
• It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.
• Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
• The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
• A snail can sleep for three years.
• No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH".
• Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
• Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
• The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
• All polar bears are left handed.
• In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
• An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
• TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
• "Go." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
• A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
• The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
• Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

• Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
• A day without sunshine is like, night.
• On the other hand, you have different fingers.
• I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
• 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
• 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
• I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
• Honk if you love peace and quiet.
• Remember, half the people you know are below average.
• He who laughs last thinks slowest.
• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
• The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
• I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
• Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
• Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad > memory.
• Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
• Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
• Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
• Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
• If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
• How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
• How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
• When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
• Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
• Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
• I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
• I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
• Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
• Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.