Humor Additions for Monday, April 22

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A new teacher was getting to know the kids by asking them their name and what their father did for a living.

The first little girl said: "My name is Mary and my Daddy is a postman."

The next child, a little boy said: "I'm Andy and my Dad is a mechanic."

And so it went until one little boy said: "My name is Jimmy and my father is a striptease dancer in a cabaret for gay men."

The teacher gasped and quickly changed the subject. Later, in the school yard, the teacher approached Jimmy privately and asked if it was really true that his dad danced nude in a gay bar.

Jimmy blushed and said, "No, he's really an auditor for Arthur Andersen, but I'm just too embarrassed to tell anyone."

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Humorous signs seen around the world:
  • Cocktail lounge, Norway: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
  • At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any Suitable food, give it to the guard on duty
  • Doctors office, Rome: Specialist in women and other diseases.
  • Hotel, Acapulco: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
  • In a Nairobi restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.
  • On an Athi river highway: Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.
  • On a poster at Kencom: Are you an adult that cannot read? If so, we can help.
  • A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer: Do not activate with wet hands.
  • In a Pumwani maternity ward: No children allowed.
  • In a cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.
  • Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviors in bed.
  • Hotel elevator, Paris: Please leave your values at the front desk.
  • Hotel, Yugoslavia: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
  • Hotel, Japan: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
  • An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
  • A laundry in Rome: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the
  • Afternoon having a good time
  • Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia: Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.
  • Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
  • Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Submitted by Marianne, Columbia, Md.

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At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players...

"Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded yes.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you are out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?" Again, the boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your mother."


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And you thought you where having a bad day ...

Yes ... its your favorite joke master and his not so nimble 3 Day Event horse 'Commander Riker'

Back to April 17 Humor Page