Women's keywords
and their meaning.
"Fine": This is the
word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they
are right but need to shut the man up. Men will never be allowed
to end a sentence with the word "fine" and just walk
away, this word is for the sole use of women in this context.
Oh, and by the way, (refer to the definition of "Oh"
below), NEVER use "fine" to describe how a woman
looks, or in about "five minutes" (see below also),
you will hear the word "Fine" followed by silence.
"Five minutes": This
is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so
she feels that it's an even trade.
"Nothing": This means
something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is
usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to
turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards.
"Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last
"Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".
"Go Ahead" (with
raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a
woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with
the word "Fine".
"Go Ahead" (with
normal eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do
what you want because I don't care". You will get a Raised
Eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by
"Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to
you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
A Loud Sigh: This is not
actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks
you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting
her time standing here and arguing with you over
"Nothing".
A Soft Sigh: Again, not a word,
but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the
few things that some men actually understand. She is content.
Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay
content.
"Oh": This word
followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, I
talked to John about what you two were doing last night".
If she says "Oh, by the way" before a statement, run,
do not walk, to the nearest exit. When she is done tossing your
clothes out the window, she will tell you that she is
"Fine" but do not expect her to talk to you for at
least 2 days. "Oh" as a question, as in,
"Oh??!!" usually signifies that you are caught in a
lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get a
Raised Eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so
unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.
"That's Okay": This
is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to
a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think
long and hard before paying you retribution for what ever it is
that you have done. "That's Okay" is often combined
with the word "Fine" and accompanied by the Raised
Eyebrow "Go Ahead". At some point, probably without
warning, in either the near or distant future (time holds no
significance here), you are going definitely going o remember
this initial moment and regret it. More than likely you will
regret it more than once over the duration of your relationship.
"Please Do": This is
not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the
chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for
doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance
to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a
"That's Okay" scenario.
"Thanks": A woman is
thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome.
"Thanks A Lot": This
is much different than "Thanks". A woman will say,
"Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you.
It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and
will be followed by the
"Loud Sigh". Be
careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud
Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing"....see
paragraph one.
Submitted by Marianne,
Columbia, Md.
