make you wonder how the human race ever made it out of the stone
- When his .38-caliber
revolver failed to fire at its intended victim during a
hold-up in Long Beach, California, robber James Elliot did
something that can only inspire wonder: he peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. Happily for most
concerned, this time it worked.
- Laborer Alexander Robinson
of Mobile, Alabama, redefined the limits of tactlessness
when he opened his eyes after surgery to restore his sight
and said agreeably to his wife: "Boy, you sure have got
fat in four years".
- The chef at a hotel in
Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and,
after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent
out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the
machine out and lost a finger. The chef's claim was
- Mourners at the funeral of
Anna Bochinsky in Moinesti, Rumania, were naturally somewhat
taken aback when she abruptly leapt from her coffin as it
was being carried to the grave. Before they could react to
this unexpected outburst, the woman bounded into the nearest
road, where she was run over and killed by a passing car.
- An American tourist in South
America had the misfortune to be attacked by killer bees as
he stood on the bank of the Amazon. Seeking refuge, he leapt
into the river - and was devoured by piranha fish.
- A Malaysian monkey that had
been trained to gather coconuts from trees demonstrated a
pressing need for a refresher course when it leapt onto the
shoulders of a passer-by in Kuala Lumpur and tried to twist
his head off. The man was treated at a local hospital for a
- In Fort Lauderdale, Florida,
a sixteen-year-old youth was charged with beating up his
fifteen-year-old wife after the latter hid the caps to his
toy pistol. (I would have guessed Panama City and not Fort
- A man who shoveled snow for
an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in
Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken
the space [Understandably,] he shot her dead.
Submitted by Marianne,
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Stories, My Little
Cohen came home from her Sisterhood meeting at the synagogue.
She was very excited, and explained
to her husband that the guest at the meeting had been a wonderful
Mr. Cohen then mentioned that
attendance was down at the Saturday services. Maybe they should hire
the hypnotist to bring in a crowd. He talked it over with the rabbi,
who thought it was a terrific idea. After lots of publicizing, the
synagogue was filled for the Sabbath service. The hypnotist withdrew
a pocket watch. As the crowd observed, mesmerized, the hyponost
began: "Vatch the vatch. Vatch the vatch. Vatch the vatch."
The congregants carefully observed,
their eyes following the sway of the watch.
"Vatch the vatch," the
Then, accidentally, the watch fell
out of his hand. "Oh crap!" He cried . . . . Took them
three weeks to clean up the synagogue.
Submitted by Larry,
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Fire authorities in
California found a corpse in a burned out section of forest
The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with
SCUBA tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask. A post-mortem
revealed that the person died not from burns, but from massive
internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a
fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
It was revealed that, on the
day of the fire, the person went for a diving trip off the coast
some 20 miles away from the forest.
The firefighters, seeking to
control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of
helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from
the ocean then flown to the forest fire and emptied...You
One minute our diver was making
like Flipper in the Pacific, the next he was doing the breast
stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.
Apparently he extinguished
exactly 5'-10 inches of the fire.
Submitted by Joe,
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