You Know You Are
Getting Older When . . .
- You and your teeth don't sleep
- Your try to straighten out the
wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
- At the breakfast table you hear
snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
- Your back goes out, but you stay
- When you wake up looking like your
driver's license picture.
- It takes two tries to get up from
- When your idea of a night out is
sitting on the patio.
- When happy hour is a nap.
- When you're on vacation, and your
ENERGY runs out before your money does.
- When you say something to your
kids that your mother said to you, and you always hated it.
- When all you want for your
birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
- When you step off a curb and look
down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
- Your idea of weight lifting is
- It takes longer to rest than it
did to get tired.
- Your memory is shorter and your
complaining lasts longer.
- Your address book has mostly names
that start with Dr.
- You sit in a rocking chair and
can't get it going.
- The pharmacist has become your new
- Getting "lucky" means
you found your car in the parking lot.
- The twinkle in your eye is merely
a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
- It takes twice as long - to look
half as good.
- Everything hurts, and what doesn't
hurt - doesn't work.
- You look for your glasses for half
an hour, and they were on your head the whole time.
- You sink your teeth into a steak -
and they stay there.
- You give up all your bad habits
and still don't feel good.
- You have more patience, but it is
actually that you just don't care anymore.
- You finally get your head together
and your body starts falling apart.
- You wonder how you could be over
the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.
Submitted by John, Emmitsburg, Md.
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About Aging, My Little
Children were lined up
in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large
pile of apples. The nun made a note, "Take only one, God is
Moving through the line, to the other
end of the table, was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A boy
wrote a note, "Take all you want, God is watching the
Submitted by Marion, Haverford,
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Sayings, My Little
The first day of
school our professor introduced himself . . .
. . .and
challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood
up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned
around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a
smile that lit up her entire being. She said, "Hi handsome. My
name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a
I laughed and enthusiastically
responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant
squeeze. "Why are you in college at such a young, innocent
age?" I asked.
She jokingly replied, "I'm here
to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and
then retire and travel."
"No seriously," I asked. I
was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge
at her age.
"I always dreamed of having a
college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.
After class we walked to the student
union building and shared chocolate milkshake. We became instant
friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class
together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this
"time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with
Over the course of the year, Rose
became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went.
She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon
her from the other students. She was living it up. At
the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football
banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us.
She was introduced and stepped up to
the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped
her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little
embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm
sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is
killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell
you what I know."
As we laughed she cleared her throat
and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow
old because we stop playing.
There are only four secrets to
staying young, being happy and achieving success. You have to laugh
and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose
your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are
dead and don't even
know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing
If you are nineteen years old and lie
in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will
turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed
for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can
grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to
grow up by always finding the opportunity in change.
Have no regrets. The elderly usually
don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not
do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."
She concluded her speech by
courageously singing "The Rose." She challenged each of us
to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.
At the years end Rose finished the
college degree she had begun all those years ago.
One week after graduation Rose died
peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended
her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example
that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.
Submitted by Mike, Broomfield, Co.
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