Humor Additions for Wednesday, June 13th, 2001

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There's this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink.

He stays like that for half-an-hour.  Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and gulps it down.

The poor man starts crying.

The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here,... I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I sleep through the alarm, and I go late to my office. My boss, outraged, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police, they say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison!!!"

Submitted by Bill, Narberth, Pa.

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A New Yorker was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. 

He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard. When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of the afternoon and he would have to return the next day.

"What for?!?!?" he snapped at the judge. His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query, roared out loud: "Twenty dollars contempt of court! That's why!"

Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented: "That's all right. You don't have to pay now."

The young man replied, "I know. But I'm just seeing if I have enough for two more words."

Submitted by Mike, Broomfield, Co.

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A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. 

All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20" and stuck it in the door.

The next day, as he was counting the offering, he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was a notation "Genesis 3:10."

You all are probably laughing now, but since I skipped too many religious classes: Revelation 3:20 reads: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me."

Genesis 3:10 reads: "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked."

Submitted by Jamie, Crofton, Md.

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