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A guy offers to buy a drink for an attractive young
woman seated at a bar.
She gives him the green light, so he goes to the end of the bar
and whispers to the bartender to make up a Martini for her and to
put some Spanish-fly in the drink. The bartender whispers back to
say he's all out of Spanish-fly and all he has left is Jewish-fly.
"Jewish-fly?" Shrugging his shoulders, the guy says,
"OK, put some of that in her drink."
As she sips on the drink, she gets more and more cozy, really
warming up to the guy. Finally, she finishes the drink, leans over
and whispers in his ear, "Let's go shopping."
Submitted by Larry,
Walkersville, Md.
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Two nuns were ordered to paint a
room in the convent . . .
. . . and the last instruction from the Mother
Superior was that they not get a drop of paint on their
habits. After conferring about this for a while, the nuns
decided to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits,
and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there
came a knock at the door.
"Who is it?,"
called one of the nuns.
"The blind man,"
replied a voice from the other side of the door.
The two nuns looked at each
other and shrugged. Deciding that no harm could come from
letting a blind man into the room, they opened the door.
"Nice butt,
sister," said the man, "where do you want these
blinds?"
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Dear Abby,
My husband is a lying cheat. He tells me
he loves me, but he has cheated our entire marriage. He is a
good provider and has many friends
and supporters. They know he is a lying
cheat, but they just avoid the issue. He is a hard worker but many
of his co-workers are leery of him. Every time he gets
caught, he denies it all.
Then he admits that he was wrong
and begs me to forgive him.
This has been going on for so
long, everyone in town knows he is a cheat. I don't know what to
do.
Signed Frustrated
Dear Frustrated:
You should dump him. Now that you are a
New York Senator, you don't need him anymore.
Submitted by Marianne, Columbia, Md.
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