The Obituary of Common Sense
Today, we mourn the passing of an old
friend by the name of "Common Sense". Common Sense lived a
long life but died from heart failure at the brink of the millennium.
No one really knows how old he was
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals,
homes, factories and offices, helping folks get jobs done without
fanfare or foolishness.
For decades, petty rules, silly laws
and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was
credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come
in out of the rain, the early bird gets the worm and life isn't always
fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't
spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (the
adults are in charge, not the kids).
A veteran of the Industrial
Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technology revolution,
Common Sense survived cultural trends including body piercing, whole
language, "new math", and don't ask don't tell. But his
health declined when he became infected with the
In recent decades his waning strength
proved no match for the ravages of federal regulation. He watched in
pain as good people became ruled by lawyers and auditors. His health
rapidly deteriorated when schools implemented policies where a 6-year
old boy is charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a
teen is suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a
teacher is fired for reprimanding an unruly student.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will
to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became
businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and
federal judges invaded everything from Boy Scouts to professional
As the end neared, Common Sense
drifted in and out of logic, but was kept informed of developments
regarding regulations for asbestos, low flow toilets,
"smart" guns, and mandatory air bags and he was in disbelief
when told that the homeowners associations restricted exterior
furniture only to that which enhanced property values. It was the
aftermath of the 2000 Presidential election that caused him to breathe
his last breath.
Common Sense was preceded in death by
his parents Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter,
Responsibility; and his son Reason.
Not many attended his funeral because
so few realized he was gone.
Submitted by Andy, Gettysburg, Pa.