A fellow is
getting ready to tee-off on the first hole . . .
when a second fellow approaches
and asks if he can join him. The first says that he usually
plays alone, but agrees to let the second guy join him. Both are
even after the first couple of holes. The second guy says,
"Say, we're about evenly matched, how about we play for
five bucks a hole?"
The first fellow says that he
usually plays alone and doesn't like to bet but agrees to the
terms. Well, the second guy wins the rest of the holes and as
they're walking off of the eighteenth hole, and while counting
his $80.00, he confesses that he's the pro at a neighboring
course and likes to pick on suckers.
The first fellow reveals that
he's the Parish Priest at the local Catholic Church to which the
second fellow gets all flustered and apologetic and offers to
give the Priest back his money. The Priest says, "No, no.
You won fair and square, and I was foolish to bet with you. You
keep your winnings."
The Pro says, "Well, is
there anything I can do to make it up to you?"
The Priest says, "Well,
you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. Then If
you bring your mother and father by after Mass, I'll marry them
Submitted by Vicki, Kennett Square,
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One day Mr.
Purdue comes up with this great idea for the Catholic
Immediately he makes plane
reservations to go to Rome. When he gets into Rome he makes an
appointment to see the Pope. When he sees the Pope he says this:
"It is great to meet you, your Eminence, and I have a
little proposition for you. See, I was in church the other day
and I thought of a great idea. Purdue Chickens is ready to give
the Church $500 million if you guys will change 'give us this
day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily chicken'.
What do you think?"
The Pope pondered for a second
and said: "I don't really think so."
Well, Mr. Purdue was not going
to be let down by this so he continued: "Purdue Chickens is
so organized that we figured that there would be a little
difficulty in the first offer. Okay, we are prepared to give the
Church $1 million dollars to change 'give us this day our daily
bread' to 'give us this day our daily chickens'."
The Pope thought a little
longer this time and responded: "No, I really don't think
Now, Mr. Purdue was getting a
little nervous. He took out his handkerchief and wiped the sweat
from his brow. He said: "Now, we at Purdue Chickens didn't
really think that the offer was going to go this far, but
nevertheless, we prepared ourselves. We are willing to give the
Church $5 million if you guys will change 'give us this day our
daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily chickens.' What do
The Pope looked at Mr. Purdue
blankly and then said: "Sure."
Later that day the Pope had a
meeting with the Cardinals. He said: "I have some good news
and I have some bad news. The good new is that the Church has
gained $5 million dollars. The bad news is that we lost the
Submitted by Larry,
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Jokes, My Little
A blonde and a
brunette are running a ranch together in Louisiana.
They decide they need a bull to
mate with their cows to increase their herd. The brunette takes
their life savings of $600 dollars and goes to Texas to buy a
bull. She eventually meets with an old cowboy that will sell her
a bull. "It's the only one I got for $599, take it or leave
She buys the bull and goes to
the local telegram office and says, "I'd like to send a
telegram to my friend in Louisiana that says: 'Have found the
stud bull for our ranch, bring the trailer'."
The man behind the counter
tells her, "Telegrams to anywhere in the U.S. are $.75 per
She thinks about it for a
moment and decides. "I'd like to send one word,
"And what word would that
be?" inquires the man.
replies the brunette.
The man asks, "I'm sorry
miss, but how is your friend gonna understand this
The brunette replies, "My
friend is blonde and reads REAL slow, when she gets this, she
will see COM-FOR-DA-BULL."
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