Hi guys. We've
all been putting in long hours but we've really come together as
a group and I love that.
Big thanks to Omar for putting
up the poster that says "There is no I in team" as
well as the one that says "Hang In There, Baby." That
cat is hilarious. However, while we are fighting a jihad, we
can't forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few
First of all, while it's good
to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more
concerned about the scorpions in our cave. Hey, you don't want
to be stung and neither do I, so we need to sweep the cave
daily. I've posted a sign-up sheet near the main cave opening.
Second, it's not often I make a
video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the most
powerful country on earth, okay? That means that while we're
taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background.
Just while we're taping. Thanks.
Third point, and this is a
touchy one. As you know, by edict, we're not supposed to shave
our beards. But I need everyone to just think hygiene,
especially after mealtime. We're all in this together.
Fourth: food. I bought a box of
Cheez-Its recently, clearly wrote "Osama" on the
front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, my Cheez-Its were
gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
Finally, we've heard that there
may be American soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our
ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol
will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and Richard.
Love you lots. Osama
Submitted by Vicki, Kennet Square,
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Worst Nightmares . . .
A client called in inquiring
about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info,
she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and
then take the train to Hawaii?"
- I had someone ask for an
aisle seat on the plane so that her hair wouldn't get messed
up by being near the window.
I got a call from a woman who
wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of
the flight and the passport information when she interrupted
me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make HER
look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod
is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her
response; . . . click.
A man called, furious about a
Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the
vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view
room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando
is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to
me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin
I got a call from a man who
asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?"
I said, "No." He said "But they look so close
on the map."
Submitted by Larry
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Stories, My Little
- Your potted plants are
alive. And you can't smoke a single one of them.
- You keep more food than beer
in the fridge.
- 6:00 AM is when you get up,
not when you go to sleep.
- You hear your favorite song
on an elevator.
- You carry an umbrella. (You
watch the Weather Channel.)
- Your friends marry and
divorce instead of "hookup" and
- You go from 130 days of
vacation time to 7.
- Jeans and a sweater no
longer qualify as 'dressed up.'
- You're the one calling the
police because your neighbor next door plays
- the stereo to loud.
- Older relatives feel
comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
- You don't know what time
Taco Bell closes any more.
- Your car insurance goes down
and your car payments go up.
- You feed your dog Science
Diet instead of McDonald's.
- Sleeping on the couch makes
your back hurt.
- You no longer take naps from
noon to 6 p.m.
- Dinner and a movie - The
whole date instead of the beginning of one.
- Eating a basket of chicken
wings at 3 a.m. would severely upset, rather than settle,
- A $4.00 bottle of wine is no
longer 'pretty good stuff.'
- You actually eat breakfast
foods at breakfast time.
- "I just can't drink the
way I used to," replaces "I'm never going to
- drink that much again."
- Over 90% of the time you
spend in front of a computer is for real work.
- You don't drink at home to
save money before going to a bar.
- You read this entire list
looking for one sign that doesn't apply to You
Submitted by Neil, Kennet
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