The state mandates (second verse)

Jack Deatherage

(4/2021) And the peasantry toils to comply.

According to the town website 3,640 linear feet of new sidewalk has been poured in town since 2013. Hurrah! If my knees and hip could take it I could walk, mostly safely, through the developments, up and down Seton Ave and the length of Main Street on sidewalks that weren't connected until recently- recently, if you lived in town before the 1990s. With a coupla fingers of Makers Mark in me, I probably could manage such a walk today, but those sipping days are sadly over.

Anyhow, it came as a small surprise three years after we got new concrete poured on our street to find everything is going to be ripped back up and a differently designed street is going to front our house! The Emmitsburg North Seton Ave Green Street Concept Plan (NS Green Plan) is to be debated by the commissioners, eventually. The meetings have been postponed due to weather and more pressing issues.

I suppose the surprise would have been greater had I not heard, at one of the last town meetings I could attend, that something had to be done about the storm water that rushes down our street adding to Flat Run's flow as it begins its trickle through town. I couldn't see how the storm stream flowing down our street could be tamed, but I ain't a hydrologist, or an engineer.

The DW took a look at the design drawings and growled, "Gods! Not again. The new sidewalk instillation was such an inconvenience. This will be even worse. Where we will park? How will we get in and out of the house while the street is torn up?"

I shrugged. "Same as we did last time. Besides I like the design."

Glaring at the illustrations the DW muttered, "That does look a lot better than what's out there now. And we do have four parking spaces behind the house. The new neighbors and the college kids can have the spots left out front after the construction is over. But I'm not looking forward to the noise, dirt and inconvenience this is going to cause!"

Shrugging again, I tried to cheer her up. "Given the way projects move through the various governments, we'll likely be dead before the first concrete saw screams."

That brought a smile to her face. "And this pandemic would be over by then and you could visit the offspring in Florida until the worst of the construction was over."

She glared at me. "And leave you and the ugly dog in the house by yourselves? Would I have a house to come back to?"

"We can discuss that when the time comes, if it comes. Meanwhile I'll check with Zack and see if anything has changed since I got the plan.

Zachary R. Gulden (Town Planner & Zoning Administrator) responded to my inquiry, in part:

"Most importantly - Safety. It greatly reduces the chance of flooding at the Northgate residential development entrance/exit. As you know, large rain events cause significant flooding, which entrap Northgate residents. Currently storm water sheet flows down the asphalt swales and road directly into Flat Run Stream at Northgate. 14,449 sq. ft. of impervious is being removed, which is significant! Other safety features included in the plan include - 5 existing crosswalks enhanced with new striping/materials, 3 new crosswalks added, & bicycle safety increased with shared lane markings.

Beautification. 27 street trees added, 17,000 sq.ft. of native plantings added, new crosswalks added. More green & less gray!

MS4 Credit - as you know we are an MS4 permitted community (municipal separate storm sewer system), which means we are required by state and federal law to improve storm water management conditions in our Town to improve the health of local bodies of water and ultimately the Chesapeake Bay. Instead of pollutants sheet flowing down into Flat Run Stream, local bodies of water, and ultimately the Chesapeake Bay, the water will be "treated" in the green infrastructure additions. For example, water will flow into one of the bioretention planters, soak through the various layers of filters, which removes the vast majority of the pollutants."

I knew the goal was to reduce pollutants reaching the Bay, but I hadn't considered our street to be much of a flood concern. Then I dropped a pond liner in one of the leaking 150-gallon stock tanks we have in the backyard. I had planned to drag the things around front, set one either side of the bow window and plant flowering vines in them that might grow up the brick faced front of the house to cool it a bit in the summer. But the NS Green Plan put the kibosh to that brilliant idea. Anyhow, I set the tank at the back roof downspout, set a rain gauge nearby and waited for the next rain.

Less than an inch of rain overflowed the 150-gallon tank. Which did not surprise me given a home owner on Irishtown Court once told me a 30 minute storm, falling on the backside of his roof, filled the 1,200 or 1,500 gallons of tanks he had under his deck. Which has me wondering how much water overflowed my little tank and ran down through the yard to Creekside Drive and on to Flat Run?

Our house is one of 23 houses along the street preventing rain from soaking into the ground. The gods know, and perhaps a hydrologist, how much water flows down that blacktopped stretch as it runs off of roofs and sidewalks! I can't capture anything that reaches the street in front of the house. And obviously, several hundred gallons of captured water at the back of the house, from a measly drizzle, isn't a big deal in the scheme of things. So what can I do to at least slow the water streaming off the property?

Rain garden! which would help flatten the flood curve by slowing the rate of flow to the rill beyond Creekside Drive. (Hmm... where have I heard an expression similar to ‘flatten the flood curve’? Oh, well.) The problem with the rain gardens I've looked at online is - I'm more interested in experimenting with growing something to eat than I am in growing flowers that prosper in such a setup. Though creating a native carnivorous plant bog that might reduce some of the yard's insect population appeals to me and definitely appeals to the DW who is plagued by "no-see-ums" (some variant of Ceratopogonidae) every time she ventures into the yard during the summer. (There is a price to pay for being sweeter than me.)

I'm thinking a shallow trench filled with straw bales inoculated with oyster mushroom spawn stretching across the lower part of the yard would act to slow the run off and give me something tasty to eat occasionally.

"Again with the mushrooms!" The DW grumbles. "How many times are you going to trial them without producing anything?"

Making sure I've something valuable between me and her warming up the Balor of the evil eye thing, I shrug. "Until I grow some 'shrooms."